Gray Divorce is Rising—Here’s What You Should Know in Colorado

In recent years, one demographic has seen a sharp uptick in divorce rates: couples over the age of 50. This phenomenon, known as “gray divorce,” is transforming the landscape of family law across the United States, including right here in Colorado. As people live longer and prioritize personal fulfillment in later stages of life, more are choosing to part ways after decades of marriage.

Whether you’re contemplating a gray divorce, supporting a loved one through the process, or simply curious about this social shift, understanding the unique legal, financial, and emotional aspects of late-life divorce is crucial. In this in-depth guide, we’ll explore what gray divorce looks like in Colorado, why it’s on the rise, and what older adults need to know to protect their interests.

What Is Gray Divorce?

Gray divorce refers to the dissolution of marriage between couples who are typically aged 50 or older. It often involves individuals who have been married for 20, 30, or even 40 years. Unlike younger couples, older adults face a different set of priorities and complications when ending a marriage—ranging from retirement planning to adult children and health concerns.

Why Gray Divorce Is on the Rise

Several factors contribute to the rise in gray divorces:

• Increased Life Expectancy: With people living longer, individuals may not want to spend another 20–30 years in an unfulfilling marriage.
• Social Shifts: There’s less stigma associated with divorce than there was decades ago, making it easier to pursue personal happiness.
• Empty Nest Syndrome: Once children grow up and leave home, couples may realize they have grown apart.
• Financial Independence: More women today have their own income and retirement savings, making them less financially dependent on their spouses.
• Second Marriages: Later-in-life marriages often have higher divorce rates, especially when blended families or complex financial arrangements are involved.

Unique Challenges of Gray Divorce in Colorado

Gray divorce comes with its own set of challenges, particularly in Colorado, where state laws and lifestyle factors play a role:

• Retirement assets often form the bulk of a couple’s estate.
• Alimony may be more likely, given long marriages and limited earning potential post-divorce.
• Adult children may still be financially dependent or emotionally affected.
• Medical issues and caregiving needs can complicate settlements.

Understanding these complexities is essential for a fair and informed outcome.

Key Legal Considerations for Older Couples Divorcing in Colorado

Colorado is an equitable distribution state, which means marital property is divided fairly—but not always equally. This standard gives judges significant discretion, particularly in longer marriages where the financial entanglements are complex.

Some key legal points to consider include:

• Colorado law does not favor either spouse automatically.
• Separate property (owned before the marriage or inherited) is not divided—unless it has been commingled.
• Courts consider factors such as the length of the marriage, the standard of living, and both spouses’ financial circumstances.

Division of Assets in a Gray Divorce

Asset division in gray divorce can be intricate, especially with:

• Retirement accounts: These are usually among the largest assets and must be divided with care, often through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO).
• Real estate: A marital home may hold both financial and sentimental value. Deciding whether to sell, keep, or transfer it can be contentious.
• Investment portfolios: Stocks, bonds, and mutual funds are subject to division, which may involve tax implications.
• Business interests: If one or both spouses own a business, it must be valued and potentially divided.
• Personal property and collectibles: Items like antiques, artwork, and heirlooms may have financial and emotional significance.

In long-term marriages, the presumption is often close to a 50/50 split—unless one spouse has significantly more non-marital property or other circumstances exist.

Alimony and Spousal Maintenance

In Colorado, alimony is referred to as spousal maintenance. Courts may award maintenance based on:

• Duration of the marriage
• Financial need of the receiving spouse
• Ability of the paying spouse to provide support
• Standard of living during the marriage
• Age and health of both spouses

Gray divorces frequently result in long-term or even indefinite spousal support, especially if one spouse sacrificed career opportunities to support the household or raise children.

Retirement Accounts and Social Security

Retirement Accounts

Colorado courts divide 401(k)s, IRAs, pensions, and other retirement accounts. A QDRO ensures that these accounts can be divided without triggering tax penalties. It’s crucial to:

• Understand the tax implications of withdrawals
• Distinguish between marital and non-marital portions of the account
• Consider the timeline to retirement

Social Security

While Social Security benefits are federally administered, they play a major role in gray divorce planning. Key points include:

• A divorced spouse can claim benefits on an ex-spouse’s record if the marriage lasted at least 10 years.
• You must be 62 or older and unmarried.
• Claiming on an ex’s record does not reduce their benefit.

An attorney can help you understand how these rules apply to your situation.

Health Insurance and Long-Term Care

Health care is a pressing concern for many divorcing older adults:

• If one spouse was covered under the other’s employer plan, they may lose that coverage post-divorce.
• COBRA may offer temporary relief, but it’s expensive and limited in duration.
• Medicare eligibility starts at 65—but there may be a gap if you divorce in your early 60s.

Long-term care insurance and the possibility of becoming a caregiver again after divorce should also be discussed and planned for.

Estate Planning After a Gray Divorce

Divorce necessitates a complete review and overhaul of your estate plan. After a gray divorce, you may need to:

• Update your will and trust documents
• Change your powers of attorney
• Reassign beneficiaries on life insurance and retirement accounts
• Reconsider advance health care directives

Failing to update these documents can have unintended legal consequences and leave your estate in disarray.

Tips for Navigating a Gray Divorce in Colorado

Here are practical tips to help older adults navigate gray divorce with clarity and confidence:

1. Hire a knowledgeable Colorado family law attorney who understands the nuances of gray divorce.
2. Collect financial records early—tax returns, retirement statements, deeds, loan balances, and more.
3. Create a post-divorce budget to understand your future needs.
4. Do not overlook health insurance and long-term care planning.
5. Review your estate plan and update all legal documents.
6. Consider mediation or collaborative divorce to reduce stress and costs.
7. Get emotional support—from friends, counselors, or support groups.
8. Avoid hasty decisions out of guilt or fear. You deserve a fair settlement, even after a long marriage.

Final Thoughts

Gray divorce is no longer a rarity—it’s a growing trend that reflects changing societal values, increased longevity, and a desire for a more fulfilling second act in life. However, the challenges of divorcing later in life are significant, particularly when it comes to financial stability, retirement planning, and long-term care.

If you or someone you love is considering a gray divorce in Colorado, knowledge is your greatest asset. Surround yourself with the right legal, financial, and emotional support to make this transition as smooth as possible.